January 30, 2015 - Plan our hospital route

I am fully aware that on the big day, when Nugget gets here, that I will not be the one doing the really heavy lifting.  My job is to support the real star of the show, the one that's doing all of the hard work. That would be my beautiful wife, who by that point I am sure will be ready to be done with the whole thing. I need to be a voice of encouragement through all of this, and I have certainly been doing my best to practice this throughout her pregnancy.

At the very least, I need to be the hand for her to squeeze to the breaking point when the pain gets too bad.

My other job is to make sure she gets to the experts safely and quickly when Nugget decides to arrive.  The staff at Women's Hospital in Greensboro are going to be the ones that we entrust with the birth, and they come highly recommended.  I think that we are very fortunate to live right down the road from a hospital that is focused on this kind of thing.

With that being said, even though the hospital is just down the road, I want to make sure that I know all of the routes to get there.  So yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, I busted out my map and sextant and charted a course.

Ok, so I didn't use a compass and star charts, and instead relied on good old Google Maps and my GPS to get me there.  As you can see, there are two direct options to get from our house to the Women's Hospital. The first takes us down two of the busiest surface streets in Greensboro, Wendover Avenue and Battleground Avenue.  This route is 2.7 miles and is estimated to take us about 7 minutes.  The second route that popped up skips over Wendover and takes us directly to Battleground.  It is .1 miles longer, which adds another minute to the trip. 

It seems that we could also take public transportation to get there.  This might be the funniest backup plan ever.  "Don't worry, fellow passengers, but is there a doctor on the bus?"

I timed both driving routes, and with the stop lights and signs, both options took about the same time.  There really was no difference in speed, so I had to judge the routes on other criteria.  And the other criteria I chose was safety.

Wendover is a very busy road, and I have seen many near accidents while driving on it (I've also come close to being sideswiped myself a few times).  Apparently, it's a road for bad drivers.  "Hey, are you an asshole?  Then use Wendover, it's the road for you."

Getting on to Wendover from our house is a little bit of a struggle as well. You just kind of have to get up and go, stop signs and human life be damned.  Once you're on it, at least where we live, it's stops and starts with people switching lanes like they have suddenly forgotten all rules of common decency.  It's a Road Warrior kind of experience some days.  And I don't plan on being Mad Max on the day Nugget comes to town.

Looping around down Fisher was a far safer trip.  There are a few more stop lights (the one on Elm street is usually the one that holds me up while driving to work).  But once you get past that it's smooth sailing all the way to the hospital.  And there aren't the assortment of homicidal maniacs that you get going the other way.

I know that it's going to be a little different on game day, when Elizabeth is breathing in short bursts and trying not to freak out (I picture myself doing the same thing actually).  We'll both be nervous, and we'll both be extremely excited.  I'm hoping that we catch it early enough that the contractions are not too painful or coming at a fast rate (because I don't want to deliver Nugget in my car...see my rant on "Home Birth" as to why...)

To make sure that it's all muscle memory, I'm going to start driving this route at least once a week (it's kinda sorta on my way to work anyway, so I can add it to the routine). It might be a little overkill (I'm sure a lot of what I'm doing for this blog has been overkill), but for me, it helps calm a lot of the nerves that I've been having about all of this.

It'll also keep me off of Wendover.  I'd actually like to be around when Nugget gets here.

January 29, 2015 - Babysit

We're nearing the end of my month long journey to prepare for fatherhood, and I decided it was high time to put my skillz to the test.  Last night, Elizabeth and I babysat.

This is Walker "Baby Mac" McLean.  His parents, Todd and Blythe, have been great friends of our for years, and they welcomed this wonderful addition to their family back in August.  He is a bright, bubbly little guy that has a wicked smile and a very calm demeanor.  He is a really cool kid, and I can't wait for him to become friends with Nugget (Todd and Blythe, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to keep an eye on them, because there's no telling what crazy adventures they'll get in to together).

I got over to the McLean's home in time for them to show me the ropes before they went out to the movies.  Here's the bottle, watch this TV channel, here's his diapers, BYE!  And like that, they were gone, and I was left to care for this little human.  I've often wondered how it's going to feel when I am told that I can bring Nugget home from the hospital.  "Isn't there a test that I have to pass?  Don't you have to check to make sure I'm not a loon?"  Nope.  Just "Here's the kid, good luck."

It turns out that I didn't really need much luck.  For the first 45 minutes, I was on my own with Baby Mac, and we didn't run in to any problems.  I had to swap him from arm to arm because oddly enough, babies can get a little heavy after awhile.  We did laps around the house, and I made car and airplane noises depending on how fast we went (he smiled a lot at this, which I am going to take as a sign that I was doing something right).

Yup, me and Baby Mac were doing well together.  Then Elizabeth arrived, and I was chopped liver.

He's got good taste...

I get it, Elizabeth is clearly more interesting and better looking than I am.  I can't fault Baby Mac for wanting to hang out with her more (I think the necklace really lured him in).  But I was also amazed at how Elizabeth took to him and to taking care of him.  She was a natural, coming at this with ease and poise, things that have never been attributed to me.  She's going to be a great mom.

We both took turns feeding Baby Mac, and finally got to use the bottle warmer that so many of our friends had recommended (we are going to register for one, it was awesome)...

 

We helped each other when Baby Mac needed a diaper change (who am I kidding, Elizabeth took the lead there, I was just on waste disposal duty...duty...ha).  And we found that he had a lot of stuff to do in his jumper...

Looks like you've got a busy office there, Baby Mac.

We ran into a snag about an hour and a half in to the night.  Baby Mac had been fed and changed, and it looked like it was just about bed time. But he started crying and wailing and would not go down.  I tried putting him in his day bed, and that didn't work.  I tried bouncing him, and that didn't work.  I tried walking around and shushing him, and that didn't work.  What had once been a chilled out little baby had turned into a scream machine.  Elizabeth had the same luck with him, and we were worried that he'd continue to do this until his parents came home.

And then I remember something that Todd had said on his way out.  "The Baby Channel...put on the Baby Channel."  We don't have cable (in fact, we just have rabbit ears, so we might have to find an alternative), so I was unaware that such a channel existed.  I searched around on the guide and found this...

It was called ooKii's World, and it involved dinosaurs singing and doing activities.  We had put Baby Mac in his swing at this point to just try something different.  And this is what happened...

If you can't tell from the motion blur, that kid is smiling like I hadn't seen him smile all night (Elizabeth got quite the kick out of it as you can see).  It was incredible.  One second, he was crying his head off.  The next, right when I turned it to the Baby Channel, he turned into a calm and happy baby.  And within a few minutes, he was doing this...

Out like a light! I was blown away at the reaction that Baby Mac had to his swing and to the channel.  We realized that we had tapped in to his routine.  He was ready for bed, and part of getting ready for bed was that swing and that channel.  We're going to have to develop something similar for Nugget, because it was really amazing how quickly that worked.

Todd and Blythe got home to find Baby Mac fast asleep and the house still standing.  We're going to need a lot more practice, which means that we are more than happy to do this again sometime! (Bring him our way, McLeans, and you can have a night out in Greensboro!)

It was fun to play "parents" with Elizabeth, and to know that, if just for a night, we could make it work.  There will be many more nights to come, and we're not great parents yet...but I'm feeling good about our chances.

January 28, 2015 - Day Care

Elizabeth and I finally got around to watching Baby Boom, the classic 80's movie about a career minded woman who learns to be a mom.  It's a silly movie, but definitely more redeeming than Three Men and a Baby and the awful Nine Months.  There's some real heart to it, and some memorable and cute moments.  Diane Keaton's character inherits a child from cousins she hasn't seen in years (is this a thing that actually happens?).  She goes through the expected trials and tribulations of single motherhood (she weighs the baby in a food scale to figure out what diapers to buy, hilarious), and eventually starts her own baby food company (hmmmm, maybe that's something I should look into...)

One of the great scenes is when Keaton takes the baby to a yuppy institute that is supposed to accelerate child development.  She holds up flash cards of famous composers, salmon sushi, buildings, etc., in an effort to stimulate the brain and encourage growth (I'm pretty sure my flash cards had farm animals on them...what were my parents trying to pull?!)

Keaton goes to this institute after hearing about it from other mothers.  They are all dishing about where their children were going to preschool, and an expectant mother even says that her child is on the waiting list for a school and it hasn't even been born yet. This got us to thinking.  We don't want Nugget to get left behind because we hadn't signed him up for stuff on time.  So last night, we started looking into day care options in our area.

There are a lot of them...


This is an important choice, because both Elizabeth and I intend to work after Nugget gets here, and we'll need some help.  There are options at churches.  There are options that focus on a Montessori style of education.  There are options that look to be the gateway to a life lived on a commune with people named Moonbeam and Sage.

Elizabeth has lucked out by joining a book club in town.  Most of the ladies in the book club have children, so they have been a wealth of knowledge when it comes to babies.  They've also had some great advice to give, and a lot of it has revolved around child care.  Of course, choosing a day care option is not as simple as "Oh, that looks nice."

I won't bore you with the list of questions Elizabeth wrote down after talking to her book club about it, but suffice it to say it is extensive.  Everything from how the diaper area is sanitized (I'm guessing fire hose) to how breast milk is handled for the child (I'm guessing in a bottle and fed to the baby, but I could be way off here).

You have to find out the hours of the center, and if they allow for half day or full day care.  You have to find out what kind of activities they offer (I'm hoping for a GUTS style training regimen, but I'll settle for a curriculum based on Legends of the Hidden Temple).  Is it in a nice area? And is it NAEYC certified? (Note to self: find out what the hell NAEYC means...)

Elizabeth's book club gave us several recommendations, and we narrowed that list down to two in Greensboro last night.  Next week, our plan is to go visit both and see if we like them.  If we do, we'll put down a deposit to save a spot for Nugget.

If that doesn't work, maybe we can just send Nugget to where we board Merlin when we leave town for the weekend.  He seems to like it there, and there would be plenty of toys for Nugget to play with.  I don't see a downside to this plan...

January 27, 2015 - Star Sign...

When the moooooooon, is in the seventh hoooooouuuuuuse...

I have to admit that I have never been one that ascribes any sort of credibility to astrology.  It's rather silly to me.  As a "science," it ranks right up there with diving rods and tarot cards.  Meaning it's not a science.  I definitely would have failed Professor Trelawney's classes (it must be my inner Hermione coming through here). 

I have read my horoscope before, but I haven't planned my life around it.  I'm a Sagittarius, which means that my goals are to "live a good life" and "make a difference in the world" if astrology is correct (aren't these goals of everyone, though?)  There was a time where it looked like I might be the "new" sign, Ophiuchus.  This caused great debate amongst astrologists on Facebook (where all good debate happens), but it was ultimately decided that adding a new sign was hogwash.  I think that ALL of it is hogwash, but that is beside the point.

A funny thing has happened when we've told people the due date for Nugget.  We will say "Nugget's due June 4th," and we will get a knowing smile and eyebrow raise.  "A Gemini," they'll say, "oh boy."  It hasn't happened all of the time, but it takes place far more often than I would have thought.  In fact, Elizabeth has even gotten in to it and has agreed with them.  It seems as if there are a lot of people that I associate with that are aware of what star signs mean. 

Not being one of these people, last night I read up on star signs to get a prediction of what Nugget is going to be like. And apparently, he's going to be a handful...


A Gemini gets its astrological name from the constellation, which depicts twins who shared Godhood upon death (gets you right in the warm and fuzzies, am I right?)  Born between May 21 and June 20 (Nugget should come in right in the middle of those dates if all goes according to plan), a Gemini is said to "explore a little bit of everything" and to "be ahead of the crowd."  So look out world, Nugget Farabee is about to tell you what's in this season.  Is he going to be the heir apparent to Bloosh on Parks and Rec?

Geminis are mischievous and dual-natured. They want to be the center of attention, and have a tendency of being rude and unsympathetic.  So hooray, Nugget is going to be a jerk! They are also funny, optimistic, and fun to talk to.  So hooray, Nugget is going to be a fun jerk!

Geminis are also restless and seek new experiences.  Now this is something that I can get behind (I do these yearly projects for just the same reasons).  Seeking out new and exciting adventures is, to me, what life is about, so if this is a trait that Nugget inherits from the stars then I am all for it. Boldly go, Nugget, boldly go...

It was interesting reading over the various websites and how they described certain astrological signs.  I found myself finding accuracies in their predictions ("Yeah, that woman is really focused on making money," or "Oh ok, maybe that's why he's so insecure").  Of course, when predictions and characteristics take on the broad nature of a fortune cookie, it's easy to apply them to just about anything.

Still, this was a fun exercise and it gave me yet another thing to look forward to.  Will Nugget be like the Geminis in the horoscopes? Is his fate written in the stars?

I guess I'll have to start reading that section of the paper to find out...

(To anyone out there reading this, have you found astrology to be accurate? Let me know!)

January 26, 2015 - Create a birth plan

I'm getting towards the end of this month long project, and I've realized that I haven't done a lot to prepare for the actual day of the birth.  Ok, is it alright if I call it Nugget's "Name Day" instead of birthday? It's the first step towards Nugget's ascension to the Iron Throne...(anyone ready for Game of Thrones to start up again...so am I!)

Preparing to be a dad has been an important and worthwhile endeavor. But I know that preparing for that first day is going to be equally important. So last night, Elizabeth and I started thinking about our birth plan.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking ("some of you" being those that haven't gone through the whole pregnancy thing). "Birth plan...doesn't the woman just have the baby?" Well, yes, that's true. But there are so many different ways to go nowadays. Like so much of what I have researched for this project, each has it's pros and cons, each has it's supporters and it's detractors. It's a personal choice, and each will work differently for different parents. What follows are my thoughts on several different methods that we looked in to. Please note that if you went through any of these, I in no way want to poke fun at you. They just weren't for us, that's all.


Home Birth

This one was thrown out right out of the gate. I know that people who do this say it helps make them more relaxed, that you are on your home turf so that makes you more comfortable while having your baby. But there are not enough cleaning products in the world to get what happens in a birth out of our mattress and out of our bedroom. I'm sorry to anyone that has done this, but we would have to sell the house. If I found one corpuscle, that would be the end of it.

C-Section

Ok so this isn't so much a plan, more a back up. I was a C-Section baby, and I guess I turned out alright...

We know that this type of birth is a "break the glass" scenario, and if has to happen then it has to happen. We just aren't going in to this thinking it's our Plan A.



Traditional (at a hospital)

This is the one that is featured most prominently in movies and TV shows. The mom is reenacting the dinner scene from Alien while the partner is being a nuisance (Hugh Grant faints in Nine Months...if only I could have done the same before the movie started...). There's a lot of pushing, a lot of screaming, and a whole lot of crying. It's been said that war is hell. Judging by what is shown in the media, a delivery room must be a suburb of Hell.

I watched some videos of this method (my eyes feel like they do when I've looked at the Sun too long). And really, it depends on the baby and depends on the mother. Some deliveries are smooth sailing, with little pain experienced by the mother. Some are marathons of agony with a lot of...tearing (I just shuddered typing that. I'm so, so, so sorry Elizabeth, for doing this to you).

All of this is done in a hospital, so that's the major bonus there. Patton Oswalt has a great bit about his hippie friends telling him to have his first child at home like the pioneers. "You know what the pioneers dreamed of while they were having their babies?" he asks, "...HOSPITALS!" He goes on to say he wants the most modern birth possible, and I would tend to agree with him there. That's why this is the method that is probably our back up. I know that no matter what happens, I will be up at the top end with Elizabeth. Being down at the bottom will lead to me pulling a Hugh Grant.


Water Birth

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

At first glance, I thought this was more Whole Foods nonsense. I mistakenly thought that "water birth" meant "home birth in a tub," so that meant I'd never go into the bathroom at my house again. Chlorox would be  unable to produce bleach fast enough for the quantities I would be buying.

But this just wasn't the case at all. In fact, we were able to see videos of water births at the Greensboro Women's Hospital, which is where we will be having Nugget. (Note to self: don't let Elizabeth watch anymore baby movies, because they make her cry too much).

The idea is that being in a pool of warm water relaxes you and aids in the birth. All of the pressure that you normally feel in traditional settings is taken away, and it makes for a far more comfortable experience. You do have to provide the equipment (a blow up kiddie pool was what we saw the most of). There is some pain, but it is said to be dramatically less than other alternatives. The baby is used to being in liquid, having survived in it for 9 months, so it provides a smoother transition into the world for them.

Plus, it means that instead of spending his first moments in the world surrounded by crying and yelling, he'll get to spend them as Aquaman. And that is fantastic.


So that's what we are going with at this time. Of course, no plan survives contact with reality, and I know that there will be tweaks along the way. We may get to the Name Day (it just sounds cooler!) and the water birth is not an option. We will take it in stride, though, and know that no matter what we'll get to meet Nugget.

I'm just really hoping now that his first day involves a pool party!

January 25, 2015 - Assemble a crib

One of the many reasons why I was so excited to move in to our house was that I was now afforded the opportunity to have a woodworking area of my own.  Growing up, I remember watching shows like The New Yankee Workshop, This Old House, and The Woodwright's Shop (still filmed right here in NC).  My dad loved those shows, and he had a knack for tools.  There was a shed attached to our house on Liberty Street in Bath, Maine where he would carve wooden ducks, build miniature wooden boats, and work on other projects that interested him.

I do not have the same "knack," but I'm hoping that by now having the space, I'll be able to develop this kind of skill.  My goal is to pass this along to Nugget.  I want to be able to build that things that he will be able to use and that we will all be able to use as a family.  Either that, or I'll start losing fingers at a much faster rate than originally planned.

This love of wood working and this desire to start learning how to do it well has been intensified by not only owning a home of my own, but also by my love of a particular sitcom character. I often wish that I could be Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.  His life of whiskey, breakfast foods, and moustachioed awesomeness is one that I to aspire to and admire.

My love of all things Swanson was furthered after reading Paddle Your Own Canoe, a fantastic book written by Nick Offerman (he plays Ron and in doing so has created one of the funniest and best comedic television characters in recent memory).  In the book, Offerman discusses his love of woodworking and how it has blossomed even as his acting career has taken off.  He owns his own wood shop, where he builds everything from tables to chairs to beautiful canoes. The canoe is the big project, the one that I really want to try.  I can only hope to get there one day.

Ron Swanson actually builds a crib in one episode of Parks and Rec, and while I'm not at that level yet, I wanted to see if I could at the very least assemble a store bought one for Nugget.

Every Swanson has to start somewhere...

They make these things pretty idiot proof (read that as "Lars proof").  The instructions were pretty easy to follow, and everything was screwed together using the Allen wrench that was provided in the kit.  Attach this end to this hole, put this kind of bolt here, screw here...repeat until you have a crib...

After an episode of Bob's Burgers (yup, it really only took a half an hour or so, amazing what pre-fab can do for the clueless dad-to-be), I had a working crib...

 

We still have to get a mattress for the it, but overall I'd say it looks really nice in Nugget's nursery (the decorating has begun there as well). So maybe it doesn't have all of the character of the one Ron made, but I felt a little bit of accomplishment that I was able to get it together and looking like a crib.  Maybe one day, if Nugget ever needs a crib to start his own family (years in the future, mind you), I'll be able to build it for him myself.

Now it's time to start working on that canoe...

January 24, 2015 - Carry around a bag of flour for the day

When doing preliminary research one what to do for this month, I came across things that many people have done to prepare for having a baby.  Some have carried an egg around, the goal of which is to not let the egg break throughout the day.  Some have written blogs about their preparations (like...THIS GUY!)  I even saw people wearing fake stomachs to empathize with their partners growing bodies.

One of the best things that I saw, however, was something that I don't remember from my high school experience. 

It's an infant simulator.  It is meant for high school students to carry around to show them how difficult carrying for a child really is (and hopefully discouraging them from doing the thing that creates said baby).  They cry, they have to be fed, they cry some more, they have to be changed, they cry.  You know, all of the fun stuff.  I'll forgo my thoughts on using this as a sex-ed tool ("Don't have sex kids, because you will get pregnant and you will die"...yup, that's Mean Girls).

 Unfortunately, I was unable to get one of these simulators.  Something about me not being a "student" at the "high school."  Thanks a lot, Puritans...

What I did get was the next best thing.  Carrying around a bag of flour is a tried and true baby prep activity.  Gene attempts it on Bob's Burgers (and ends up raising a toilet). Niles does it on Frasier, in his usual Niles way.  I figured that I could do the same.

I went with the 10 pound bag to make it more of a challenge.

I called him "Biscuit" (he was a bag of Southern Biscuit Flour, after all).  And I carried him all over town.  I took him with me in the morning to the Chili Cookoff at the Farmer's Curb Market (which resulted in a very smelly rest of the day).  I took him to help friends move furniture out of their old house (I set Biscuit down then, he looked like he needed a nap).  I took him with me when I went for a walk with Merlin (I think Merlin will like it when Biscuit is a real baby).  I took him with me when I went shopping...

And I finally got to use the top of the cart like it is supposed to be used.

Now I know that bags of flour are different than a baby.  But this exercise helped keep my attention focused throughout the day.  And it's amazing how heavy that 10 pounds can get when you can't put it down.  But Biscuit was very well behaved, and I'm hoping that Nugget follows his lead.

I got a lot of funny looks while I went through my day, and I deserved every one of them.  After all, a grown man carrying around a bag of flour screams "I've gotten away from my helpers, call the nice men in the clean white coats." But after explaining what I was doing, I got a lot of smiles and a lot of laughs, and a lot of words of congratulations.

The little old lady that I buy flowers from each week smiled and said I didn't need to do that, that it would just come naturally.  Thanks, ma'am, I hope it does too.




Bonus Preparation-

Movie Review: Nine Months

 

One word: awful.  Just awful.


Hugh Grant plays Samuel, a typically neurotic 90s guy who gets his way-too-good-for-him girlfriend Julianne Moore pregnant.  Oh no!  A baby! That will ruin everything! Oh my, I'll have to sell my Porsche and blah blah blah.


Seriously, just bad. I didn't laugh once, and for a comedy, that's a deal breaker, ladies.


I didn't even learn any pregnancy tips, other than don't get into a fight in the delivery room.  Damn, there goes my plot to have Nugget's first image be a barroom brawl...

January 23, 2015 - Baby names...

I know that in some parts of the world, the name Lars is relatively common. These are places where lutefisk is eaten on the reg (that's fish soaked in lye, see "Leif Erikson Day" from The Holiday Month).  Places where the people trace their lineage back to Vikings. Greensboro, North Carolina is not one of these places.

Despite this, or actually because of this, I love my name, and I love the fact that here in the US, you don't hear it all that often.  Even when the kids in elementary school learned how to rhyme and asked day in, day out if I was from Mars (little secret: yes, I am in fact from Mars, and I've been sent here to learn all I can about your culture before returning to my homeworld...I mean, of course I'm not...that's just...ha...nuts...)

I also love that it's a family name. The man I am named after, Lars Horpedahl, was my great-grandfather, and he was a good man.  A hard working, decent man that came to America to build a better life for his family and did just that.  I have a lot to live up to with this name, and I can only hope that so far I've done it proud.

My middle name is Christian, and comes from my mom seeing a book by Hans Christian Andersen while she was pregggers with me. She thought to herself, "Hans Christian Andersen...Lars Christian Farabee...eureka!" The fact that my parents are now living in the hometown of HCA has a nice ring of symmetry to it.

I've heard these stories about where my name comes from countless times. I know that my parents thought long and hard about it, and I feel lucky that they landed where they did.  Now it's our turn...

Elizabeth and I have been thinking about baby names long before we even found out about Nugget.  In fact, we were discussing them the weekend after we got engaged to entertain ourselves on a road trip.  We had several picked out (Gunner Towers and Coleman Arthur were frontrunners for a boy, Sophie and Charlotte were in the lead for girls). These were combinations of family names and names that we just thought sounded cool.  And they quickly got set on the back burner as we started planning a wedding and a life together.

The news that Nugget was here to stay kicked those conversations back in to overdrive.  We threw out the boys names that we had come up with very quickly (I've always loved the name Gunner, but was that the right name for my son?  I wasn't too sure anymore...)  The girls names changed and evolved, and we came up with three stellar ones (those won't be revealed today, sorry Mom).  But after we found out that Nugget was going to be a boy, we really put our thinking caps on and tried to come up with some names.  Last night, I think we made the final decision.

All of the middle names that we came up with were family names, either from her side or my side.  Charles Henry (my mom's father's name for the middle name) and Walter Adams (Elizabeth's dad's family name for the middle name), are the two backups in case we meet Nugget and realize that the name we've picked isn't the right one.  But the frontrunner, the one that we have landed on, is Elliot James.

I've always liked the name Elliot (he's friends with E.T., how can you not like him?).  It's a cool name without being too weird or sounding like the hero in a Jules Verne novel.  Tracing it's lineage back to Scotland, it's a name that has been around in some form for over 800 years (so it's got some staying power).  It also has roots in the Viking Sagas, so that right there makes it a fitting name to bestow upon my first son.

The middle name is where we get into the good stuff.  James is the middle name of Elizabeth's Pap-Pap, Joseph James Galgocy.  One of nine children, Joseph James served in the Navy during WWII (along with three of his brothers...we have a picture of them in their uniforms and it's fantastic), and after the war became a butcher.  He was the best father that he could be, and after his wife died he never remarried, instead focusing on his children and grandchildren.  Elizabeth said that he was always smiling, and always ready to play with her whenever she was around.  He was a kind, generous man, full of life and laughter.  He's a wonderful man to name our son after.

For now, we're going to still refer to him as Nugget, both for superstitious reasons and also the fact that we like the whole Nugget thing a lot.  We do want to meet him to make sure we got the name right, but seeing as we've been keen on this one for so long, I think it's the one.

A name is an important thing.  It's something that will stick with you for the rest of your life (unless you're Gordon Sumner and one day you decide that "Sting" better fits your personality).  But it's what you make of it that is the most important. Hopefully, Elliot James Farabee will be a person you won't forget.

January 22, 2015 - Take a Baby CPR class

Last night's adventure was the first class that Elizabeth and I have taken to prepare for having a baby.  The Women's Hospital in Greensboro has a fabulous Education Center, which offers a variety of activities to help you and your partner get ready for the addition to your family.  We've already signed up for a few more, and knowing that there is a resource like this right at our fingertips has been a great help to us.

The class was Baby CPR.  I'll refrain from making the jokes I did all week leading up to it...who am I kidding, I can't refrain.  HOW CAN A BABY TEACH CPR?!

Ok, now that's out of my system, I can talk about the class.  We were the first ones there, and got to have our selection of mannequins...which was kinda creepy...

See what I mean? Creepy.

We grabbed a seat and waited as our classmates filed in to the room.  It was a full house, and there were mothers at various stages in their pregnancies. One was due about a week before Elizabeth, and one looked like she was going to pop any day now.  The dads all looked as nervous as I did, so that was a relief.  As one guy I talked to said, "I'm filled with a mix of excitement and abject terror." Yup, just about sums it up.

To start, we learned the process for giving CPR to a child, as well as learning how to assist a child if they are choking.  For the purposes of the class, a child was defined as anyone older than a year that had not reached puberty.  Of course, if you had a larger baby or a smaller child, the skills that you learned could be crossed over between the different age groups.

The video they showed was...ok, I won't go into a movie review here because I know that it's not intended for that.  The "actors" are just trying to show a process, not create a performance.  But the whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking, "This isn't how it would happen."  The people in the video would calmly ask for help and calmly give CPR and calmly call 9-1-1.  I imagine if I ever have to do this, there will be a lot more yelling and crying on my part.

I will say that the video did do a good job of laying out all of the steps if you come across a child that is not responsive.  First, you assess if the scene is safe.  You don't want to start giving CPR in the middle of a street, because being hit by a car won't really help you help the kid.  Second, you tap and talk to the child to see if they will wake up.  If they are unresponsive (they don't wake up, they don't move), then you start yelling for help (I was the best at this in my group, go figure).

 If help comes, assign someone directly to call 9-1-1 and get an AED.  For those that don't know, an AED is an Automated External Defibrillator.  You can find these in most public places now.  They are to be used for children and adults, not for infants, but using them in conjunction with CPR can help maintain life until qualified help arrives.

If you don't make it clear who is doing what, then everyone thinks that the other person is doing it and nothing will get done.  It is important to give clear directions to the people that arrive.  "You, in the blue shirt, call 9-1-1! You, in the red dress, get an AED!"  I'm just hoping people know what an AED is when this happens...

Once help has been called, you need to assess if the child is breathing.  You do this by scanning from the mouth to the stomach slowly, for about 5-10 seconds.  If you do not see any signs that the child is breathing, then it is time for CPR. They've really streamlined CPR from what I remember in Cub Scouts.  Instead of a elaborate dance of chest compressions and breaths, you're supposed to instead focus just on getting the heart to pump blood to the brain and other parts of the body.  To do this, you sing "Stayin' Alive" to yourself...

Seriously, that's what the nice nurse that was giving the class told us. You press hard and fast, and you do this to the beat of the Bee Gees (she also said you could do it to the beat of "Another One Bites the Dust," but that seems a little morbid to me).   The goal is to do this at a rate of 100 presses a minute.  You press down about two inches, and you shoot for the middle of the breast bone above the point where the bottom ribs meet.

You do 30 presses and then move on to giving breaths.  You give breaths by opening up the child's airway.  Hold the forehead back and hold the chin as you place your mouth on the child's mouth.  Plug their nose and breath two 1 second bursts into them.  Watch to make sure that their chest rises, because then you know that you have given breaths correctly. Once you give two successful breaths, go back to chest compressions.

You do five sets of 30 chest compressions and 2 breaths.  If you are by yourself, at this point you call 9-1-1 again and do what they tell you to do.  More often than not, this means that you continue with this process until more qualified help arrives on the scene.

Elizabeth and I each practiced on the mannequin numerous times, going through the whole process and making sure that we had the steps down.  Then we moved on to the infant mannequin.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The process was basically the same for the infant as it was for the child.  Instead of using your full hand, however, the nurse said to use two fingers to do chest compressions.  Do the same pressure and the same rate (keep singing "Staying Alive").  When it comes to breaths, make sure to cover both their mouth and their nose with your mouth.  Other than that, repeat the same steps as you did with the child.

We also learned what to do with a choking child and infant, which is really just the Heimlich maneuver.  Make a fist and push it into the child's midsection, you know the drill.  The scary version of this was with the infant mannequin.  Because you can't use a fist (it'd be too big), you have to instead dip the baby upside down and whack it on it's back.  Nugget, you are going to be on a liquid diet until high school...

These are both scary scenarios, and I know that odds are that at one point in his life, Nugget will run the risk of choking or passing out and requiring CPR.  It will be important for me to channel my inner Han Solo and not lose my cool.  I think the Baby CPR class helped me with this.

Or, at the very least, it helped Elizabeth so she can give CPR to us both.


Now, the real question...what class was this for?

January 21, 2015 - Our House

As I said at the start of this project, 2014 was a GIANT year for Elizabeth and I.  We got married, we both changed jobs, we bought a house, and we found out about Nugget.  These major events have come in such quick succession that it's almost like we haven't been able to fully appreciate each thing that has come up.  Right as we have settled in to celebrating one thing, something equally great has come in to steal it's thunder. I don't mean to brag, and I don't mean to boast (but I like hot butter on my breakfast toast...sorry, couldn't help it), and I also don't mean to sound like I'm complaining.  I could never be more grateful for the life that I'm leading.

But I know that it's important to appreciate what you have in life, and to not take anything for granted (these monthly projects have really been a positive influence on me).  So last night, I used this blog to not only get ready for Nugget, but also to appreciate something else that happened in our lives in 2014: Our House.

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house...

711 Percy Street has been our home since October, but it feels like we have lived there forever.  We love our neighborhood, and we know that we have found the place where we want to raise Nugget.  It's in walking distance to downtown Greensboro, NewBridge Bank Park where the Grasshoppers play, the Farmer's Curb Market, and many other local sites.  It's a house where we can see ourselves with our growing family.  It's a home where I'm going to make a lifetime of memories with Elizabeth and with Nugget.

I want Nugget to feel safe here (and I also want Elizabeth and I to feel comfortable having him here).  This is his Fortress of Solitude.  And I want to make sure that I have a plan in place to make it as safe a house as possible.  To do this, I went around last night and started my baby-proofing plan.  I identified several areas where I will need to install a babygate.  The first is our butler's pantry, which is also where we keep the cats food and box.  We have a makeshift gate set up already to prevent Merlin from eating the cat's food (because apparently we don't feed him enough), but I'd like to see it get updated before Nugget gets on the scene.

 

I also want to put a gate at both the bottom and top of the staircase:

 We have a lot of cabinets in the kitchen, and I'll need to install several of these:

  

This an example of a cabinet lock.  It prevents Nugget from opening doors that he shouldn't be opening.  There are a variety of different kinds.  Some look pretty easy to set up, while others look like you need to be Thomas Crown to open. Parents, any advice on which kind to use?  Are they really necessary?

I went around each room and found out where I will need to install baby proof outlet covers.  I never stuck anything in a wall outlet as a kid, but I do vividly remember sticking my finger in a lamp socket when the bulb was removed.  Lesson learned, and luckily there was no permanent brain damage or memory loss...so what were we talking about again?

Elizabeth and I have already started on his nursery (for another time and another post), so he will have a space of his own once he gets here.  The other rooms in the house are relatively safe (I took down all of the sharp knives I had dangling from the ceilings, and I begrudgingly got rid of the shark pool in the study...I'm making a lot of sacrifices for you, Nugget).

While I was going around the house and identifying potential safety hazards (I thought all faucets were supposed to have a hot, cold, and acid setting?), I started picturing Nugget growing up here.

I saw him eating dinner here with me and Elizabeth...

 

I saw him getting a bath in here (when the sink was otherwise occupied)...

I saw him watching the Pats (and the Panthers) with me every Sunday here...

I saw him rocking in this swing with his folks...

I saw him swinging from the tire swing that I vow to set up from the branch of this tree...

 

I saw him having pirate ninja adventures in this backyard...

 

And in doing all of this I realized that "baby-proofing" was an incorrect word for what I was doing.  Instead, I was making sure that this house, that Elizabeth and I have fallen in love with, will be the place that Nugget will always call "home."

January 20, 2015 - Practice using a stroller

My recent trip to Babies 'R' Us introduced me to a variety of products that I had never seen before (a Baby Whirlpool and Spa...really?).  It also showed me that even the products I was more familiar with (car seats, bibs, diapers, etc) had an incredible amount options and came in numerous varieties.  So not only do I have to learn how to use these products correctly, I also have to figure out which kind to purchase.  And even before this, I have to figure out if it's something that we really need in the first place!

One product that I am sure we will need will be a stroller.  Whether it's the pram that my parents kept for me, or a rugged jogger, we will have to find some way to cart Nugget around without carrying him.  I am not very familiar with the operation of strollers, but I do a good deal of the grocery shopping in our house, so that's gotta count for something, right?  Last night, I decided to get a little more practice with the real thing.

My coworker was kind enough to let me borrow her son's old stroller.  Apparently, this did not fly as well with her son, who peppered her with a barrage of questions. "Where are you taking my stroller?" he asked, even though he hadn't had to use it in several years.  After she explained that I was using it for baby practice, he seemed ok with the idea (thanks Max!).

Once Elizabeth got home last night, I strapped in my surrogate Nugget (that babydoll is getting a lot of work this month!), and we hit the block.

Out for a stroll...

The first thing I noticed was the apparently poor condition of my neighborhood's sidewalks.  I never thought about it before, but pushing the stroller accentuated every dip and slant in the pavement.  I found myself worrying that the baby was being jostled...and it's a damn doll (it was dark enough for people not to see this fact...hopefully...)

The stroller itself was constructed well, and I'm sure that I was overreacting (again...about a doll).  It had pretty solid shocks that held steady even as I ran over larger dips and curbs.  I practiced maneuvering around obstacles (our trusty dog, Merlin, was the best of these, as he seemed to zig and zag in front of me at every turn). It took some concentration that I normally don't use with walking (which is probably a reason why I find myself tripping over myself and being a general klutz).  Dangers have to be assessed quicker, because you're pushing something out in front of you.  I apologize in advance, Nugget, for any accidents that are sure to come your way.

With all that being said, we made it around the block without a problem, and I'm confident that with more practice I'll feel completely comfortable with pushing Nugget around the world.  Now if I can only find someone to do the same for me...


A note on Merlin during this experience:  At first, I was in charge of the stroller.  I feel like I did an alright job, and I even went off of the curbs in the correct way (instead of the Evil Knievel approach that I would have used if Elizabeth hadn't have been there).  But all along the way, Merlin was tugging on Elizabeth in his normal walking frenzy ("WE ARE ON A WALK OH MY GOSH!").

Elizabeth wanted to see if she could handle both the stroller and our rambunctious canine at the same time.  She took Merlin's leash in one hand and the stroller in the other.  I stepped back and waited for Merlin to take off and for the stroller to go flying.

But instead, Merlin stayed with the stroller.  It's like he knew that something was different and that things needed to be slowed down.  He walked right along side of it, protecting the stroller and it's cargo, protecting it.  Good dog, Merlin, good dog.

January 19, 2015 - Practice Lullabies

Pregnancy has not been the best sleep aid for Elizabeth.  She's tossed and turned for months now.  Some nights are better than others (especially now that we learned about the snack before bed trick).  Also, we've been exercising more (gotta love those New Years resolutions), so that's helped.  But still, I wouldn't recommend pregnancy as an alternative to your Ambien...although the crazy dreams are probably similar.

I understand that babies are also notorious for not sleeping all that well.  I'm going to have to find ways to get Nugget to go back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night (drugging him is not out of the question). So to kill two birds with one stone (prepare for Nugget and help Elizabeth), I decided to practice lullabies.  I figured if Bugs Bunny could get the Monster to sleep by doing it, then it wouldn't hurt trying.

Lullabies are an important of the oral tradition of our species.  They can be traced throughout the histories of the world, and are entwined in the fabric of nearly every culture on Earth.  The simple and repetitive nature aids in the creation of normal sleep patterns.  In addition to this, researchers have found lullabies to have strong therapeutic values, promoting slower heart rates and a more rapid growth in neurological development.  They also provide a deep connection between infant and parent.

I went for the tried and true last night, though a quick search last night came up with songs that I had NEVER heard before (or maybe I have and they have been lost to the fog of baby memories).  I went for "Itsy Bitsy Spider" as an opener.

I know that most of these songs are supposed to be telling a story.  They are offshoots of storytellers passing along the knowledge of a society to the newer members.  But what message is this trying to tell?  What is the meaning behind it?  Why an "itsy bitsy spider"?  I don't have answers for these, but if anyone out there does, let me know!

What is most interesting to me is that this is a lullaby is meant to help children get to sleep.  The song is about a relentless spider that does not let the forces of nature stop it from ultimately continuing its climb.  Sure, the rain comes down and washes the spider out.  But the spider is patient, and there's no mention of rain at the end of the song.  Instead, we see that spider is slowly climbing up the spout again.  Terrifying.

Try singing this song to your partner before bed and not have them laugh at you.  I think it'll have a better effect on Nugget...but not by much.

The other lullaby I practiced was "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."  A classic little ditty that reminds me of recorder practice in elementary school.  I got this one a little bit better (I think my pipes were finally warmed up at this point), and I even found that I was putting myself to sleep after a few runs through of it.  It's a soothing song, and it lends itself to being sung very softly and very quietly.

"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" has a special place in Elizabeth's heart (and now mine) because of how she used to sing a particular part of it:

"Upta bubda world so high..."

That's right, "upta bubda."  I can only hope that Nugget gets his vocabulary from her.

January 18, 2015 - Watch Children's Cartoons

There are times where these projects lead me to uncomfortable arenas (stuffing my face full of Ferreror Rochets during The Spice of Life Month is a good example of this...so is my Depends adventure...).  They often push me out of my comfort zone, which is really the point of them so I am glad to see that they are working in that respect.

But more often than not, these month long projects lead me to very fun activities.  And that was most certainly the case yesterday.  Because yesterday morning, I got to watch cartoons.

Like most well adjusted people that I know, I grew up watching cartoons. Great shows like Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck,  and Tale Spin. Jem and the Holograms, Muppet Babies, Transformers, and G.I. Joe. Thundercats, Masters of the Universe, Animaniacs, and Inspector Gadget. Scooby-Doo, Rocko's Modern Life, The Ren and Stimpy Show, and the classic Doug. Teenage...Mutant...Ninja...TURTLES!

I've been worried that the cartoons that my children grow up with will somehow be lesser than those that I watched when I was a kid.  Nostalgia will do that to you, making the things that came from your time somehow better than what's going on today (I'm afraid of the rate that these adult insights seem to be occurring lately...am I growing up?).  So I wanted to investigate what was in store for Nugget. I decided to stick with cartoons that only very young children would watch (your Disney and Nick Juniors, to be specific).

To be honest, I don't remember the cartoons for this age range, besides Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry.  I didn't have the Disney Channel growing up (only during those "Free Weekends" where the cable company would try to lure parents into caving and buying upgrades to keep their kids happy...my parents never caved).  Nick Jr. really only came on the scene after I had moved on to more sophisticated cartoons (I'm thinking about Ren and Stimpy singing about LOG now...).  The only shows I remember seeing when I was little were things like Sesame Street and the endlessly wonderful Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood.

So because I didn't have a framework of comparison or really where to start, I went to Netflix to see what was popular.  I came up with two shows to check out, Handy Manny and Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Handy Manny is a Disney Junior show (ha, take that cable providers, no more "Free Weekends Only" for this guy!) that revolves around Manny, a young handyman living in a town full of colorful characters.  He talks to his tools (and the tools talk back), and he spends his days having adventures and fixing things around town.

I thought it was great.  The theme song was incredibly catchy, and I loved the message that the show tried to get across.  It was all about team work and being respectful.  Planning and thinking ahead were seen as virtues, whereas impatience and acting without thinking were shown to be poor choices. Manny was very polite to everyone he met, and he was quick to share all that he had.  He's Hispanic, and actually uses a lot of Spanish vocabulary.  So children that are watching it are not only learning great lessons about how to act in society, they are also learning a language that many of them will have to use in their day to day lives.  It was all done in a way that was not overly annoying or cutesy.  I could definitely let Nugget watch this one and not want to throw the TV out of the window.

I did want to address something that I thought was a little disturbing when doing research about this show.  Apparently, there's a faction out there that see Manny as a bad influence because he is, and I quote, "Learning our children mexican."  So I'll just let that one lie there and move along without addressing how stupid it is...

Another thing that came up that I would like to address is that somehow the show is seen as a negative stereotype because Manny's a handyman.  First of all, the town of Sheetrock Hills would fall apart without him.  Second, why is being a handyman a bad thing?  Third, most of the people in Manny's town are Hispanic (INCLUDING MOST OF HIS TALKING TOOLS).  That means that if you are worried that kids will see being a handyman as the only profession for someone like Manny, then you are obviously not noticing the Mayor.

Elizabeth brought up a great point about this too.  Kids don't know what jobs are or that there is some sort of societal hierarchy attached to them.  They also really don't have any understanding about what a "job" is.  They just know that doctors have red crosses on their foreheads and astronauts get to go to space and teachers are the most amazing, learned people ever and that construction workers get to drive cool trucks.  Being a Prince or Princess is an actual career goal for some little kids. My dad wanted to be a garbage man because you got to hang on the back of the trucks.  For goodness sake, I wanted to be a NINJA TURTLE when I was little.  Not a ninja.  No, a TURTLE that was a ninja.

So let's not think too seriously that the show about a polite kid with a talking screwdriver is brainwashing our kids, deal?

 

The second show I watched was Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  An equally catchy theme song and an equally great show about teamwork and imagination.  Jake is the leader of a band of kid pirates that do battle with the dastardly Captain Hook on the seas of Neverland.  It's a cool take on the Peter Pan story, and there are lots of references to that mythology, as well as the Disney cartoon.  The Jolly Roger is featured, and both Hook and Smee look and sound like their big screen counterparts. It wasn't violent, but there was a definite sense of adventure throughout (which I loved).

I thought it was great because it was interactive. Jake and his friends will look at the audience (your kids) and ask them questions.  There's a lot of singing, and a lot of call and response.  At one point, Jake had me pull down on the level that opened the door to his crew's secret hideout.  It encouraged make-believe and activity, which I thought was remarkable for an entertainment that usually only requires you to tune in and turn off.

I can also see Nugget using "COCONUTS!" as a curse word if he watches this show too often.


Two great options right off the bat, not too shabby if you ask me.  This doesn't mean that all of my fears about quality programming are calmed, but it is a definite step in the right direction.  If there are any parents out there with recommendations, I'm looking for more.  I'm already excited to show Nugget Avatar: The Last Airbender and Gravity Falls and Adventure Time, but are there others?  Let me know!

Now, back to my own cartoons.  Archer isn't going to watch itself!

January 17, 2015 - Journey to Babies 'R' Us

When I was little, I definitely did not want to grow up.  This, of course, meant that I was most certainly a Toys 'R' Us kid.  I was also a KB Toys fan.  The closest Toys 'R' Us was near the Maine Mall in Portland, but as it was outside of the actual mall itself this meant that we rarely went there (adding to its allure). There was a Toy Works at the Cooks Corner Mall, which was much closer to our home in Bath, and that was a necessary stop whenever we went there.

My parents set up a system of "buy days and look days."  There were far more look days, which meant that when we went to the store we were only looking, we wouldn't be getting anything.  We had to be well behaved, and if we threw a tantrum or whined then that meant that the next buy day would be pushed back for the foreseeable future.

But every once in awhile (we would never know when they would come), if we had been really good and really well behaved, my brother and I would get a "buy day."  And this meant that when we went to the store, my parents would buy us one thing that we wanted (within reason).  This system was great for many reasons.  1) It got rid of impulse buying, because my parents wouldn't cave every time we would say "I want this" or "I want that."  Instead, after multiple look days, the ONE thing that had remained in our brains throughout was ours. 2) It saved my folks a lot of money.  And 3) It kept Lukas and I on our toes, because who knows if something we did would prevent a "buy day" from happening.  It's a system that I want too put in to place once Nugget gets here.

I say all of this because I want to illustrate how familiar I was with toy stores growing up.  What I was not familiar with, which is something that until yesterday remained a mystery to me, were the stores that came before Toys 'R' Us.  I'm talking, of course, about Babies 'R' Us.  So yesterday, Elizabeth and I steeled ourselves and entered the Thunderdome...

Two men enter, one man leaves...

The first thing I thought was "I've got to do a lot more to research."  It's one thing to do a Google search and see that there are hundreds of options for car seats.  It's quite the other to see this...

  

 

Aisles upon aisles of car seats.  Car seat bases, upright car seats, rear facing seats, seats that clip in to entire travel systems, seats that look as if they are replicas of the Apollo space couches.

We also go to see some interesting products, things that I had never seen before.  Things like this:

It's called a Snuggle Nest, and it's a small enclosed pad that lets your baby sleep right with you and your partner in the bed.  Skipping over any comments on limits or boundaries, I would like to instead imagine what these parents look like when being woken from the Snuggle Nest at 2am...

And how about this much needed product:

This is a luxury whirlpool, bubble spa, and shower.  Again, babies are wearing bags of poop...does luxury really ever play in to their lives?


The best thing I saw, however, in the entire store was this:

It was a pregnant woman carrying a large list of things to buy. And her dead eyed husband followed dutifully behind with an cart that was increasingly getting overloaded by stuff.  This scene played out several times while we were walking through the store.  I laughed a little to myself at first, and then I realized something...

....pretty soon, that's going to be me...