I've made it to the end of my month long adventure to prepare myself for being a dad. Of course, it will take far more than a month of activities to get ready for Nugget. Luckily, I've got until June to do everything I can to be the best parent that I can be right on day one. I hope that I'm up to the task. This is the biggest responsibility that I've ever undertaken, and I want
to get this right. I'm going to need help, and I'm going to make a lot
of mistakes. But I think that this month has given me a good head start in the right direction.
Over the course of this month, I've tried to learn a lot of valuable skills that should help make parenthood a little bit easier (I'm going to heavily stress little bit here). I've built cribs and learned to change diapers (and worn a pair myself). I've tested out a wide range of baby products (from baby food to strollers). I've done a wide range of things to help me get ready for Nugget's arrival (from taking a baby CPR class to carrying a bag of flour around with me for a day).
And while I was doing each task, I tried to keep in mind how this would help me become a better father. But I hadn't really thought about what that meant. So last night, as my final activity for this project, I thought about all of the things that I think make up a good dad. I thought about the kind of dad that I want to be.
And in doing so, I realized that I wanted to end this month like I started it: with a challenge. But
instead of challenging Nugget, I'm going to challenge myself. You're
welcome to read along.
Dear Future Lars,
Hey
man! I hope you're doing well and that everything went perfectly with the
birth. How is Nugget doing? How is Elizabeth? Are you two getting any
sleep at all or are you just so excited about being parents that sleep
has gone out the window? What does Nugget look like?! How does he act?!
I guess I'll learn all of this soon enough.
I am sure
that it has been a lot tougher than you thought it would be. I'm sure
that while you have been incredibly happy, you've also had moments where
you've been stressed out and frustrated. I want you to remember to be
the kind of dad you hoped to be before Nugget arrived.
I'm willing to bet that you are still a pop culture junkie. Remember that when you were thinking about being the best dad possible, you thought about all of the great dads
that you read about or saw on TV and in film. You wanted to be
like Pa Kent (Clark's dad), and Clark Griswold (just from Vacation and Christmas Vacation, the others not so much...). You wanted to be Phil Dunphy from Modern Family (our love of dorky jokes leads me to think that you're already there), and you wanted to be Bob Belcher (Elizabeth already reminds me of his wife, Lynn). You wanted to be Atticus Finch, and George Bailey (skipping over the parts where he doesn't realize that he has a wonderful life).
We are fortunate enough to know a large group of people that are already
fighting the good fight as parents. I hope that you have learned from our cousins
that have come before us and have been
wildly successful at being moms and dads. I hope that you have learned from
all of our friends that have already started their own parental
adventures.
You wanted to be like our uncles (Steven, Ed,
Larry, Joe, Percy, Norman, Hayes, Guy, and Diego). You wanted to be like
Henry Brooks (mom's dad, who we never got to meet to our great
misfortune). You wanted to be like William Lloyd Farabee, Jr.
And you especially wanted to be like William Lloyd Farabee III.
But remember that
it hasn't just been dad's that inspired you. Our life has been
filled with mom's that have done an incredible job. You should channel
the loving guidance of our aunts (Rachel, Debbie, Patti, Eileen, Jan,
Connie W. and Connie B., Mikki, Beverly, Carrie, Angela). You should hope to be
like Ruth Farabee and Helen Brooks (our grandmothers). And you can only dream
of being like Mary Brooks Farabee.
And really, if I'm going to be honest with you, you should want to be like Elizabeth.
She's
handled this pregnancy with aplomb and with grace, and I'm sure she was a champ during the delivery. She's been equal
parts goofy and fun and thoughtful and hopeful. She hasn't let this
change who she is. Instead, this has intensified all of the qualities
that made me fall in love with her in the first place. And I know that
once Nugget joined you at 711 Percy Street, she has been the
most incredible mother to him. You should just try to do your best and keep up.
Be
inspiring, someone that Nugget can look up to and be proud to call
"dad." Be knowledgeable and
helpful. If Nugget has a problem, then yo, you should solve it (check
out the
hook, as my DJ revolves it...enjoy having that stuck in your head
now). Keep Nugget safe, and make sure that if he
does make mistakes that you're there to help him learn from them. Be
funny and fun and and loving. Be sure to support Elizabeth through all
of this. Be the best husband and the best father that you can be.
I can't wait to be in your shoes, Future Lars, because I can't wait to be a father. You're a lucky man. Never forget that.
Love,
Lars
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
January 30, 2015 - Plan our hospital route
I am fully aware that on the big day, when Nugget gets here, that I will not be the one doing the really heavy lifting. My job is to support the real star of the show, the one that's doing all of the hard work. That would be my beautiful wife, who by that point I am sure will be ready to be done with the whole thing. I need to be a voice of encouragement through all of this, and I have certainly been doing my best to practice this throughout her pregnancy.
At the very least, I need to be the hand for her to squeeze to the breaking point when the pain gets too bad.
My other job is to make sure she gets to the experts safely and quickly when Nugget decides to arrive. The staff at Women's Hospital in Greensboro are going to be the ones that we entrust with the birth, and they come highly recommended. I think that we are very fortunate to live right down the road from a hospital that is focused on this kind of thing.
With that being said, even though the hospital is just down the road, I want to make sure that I know all of the routes to get there. So yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, I busted out my map and sextant and charted a course.
Ok, so I didn't use a compass and star charts, and instead relied on good old Google Maps and my GPS to get me there. As you can see, there are two direct options to get from our house to the Women's Hospital. The first takes us down two of the busiest surface streets in Greensboro, Wendover Avenue and Battleground Avenue. This route is 2.7 miles and is estimated to take us about 7 minutes. The second route that popped up skips over Wendover and takes us directly to Battleground. It is .1 miles longer, which adds another minute to the trip.
It seems that we could also take public transportation to get there. This might be the funniest backup plan ever. "Don't worry, fellow passengers, but is there a doctor on the bus?"
I timed both driving routes, and with the stop lights and signs, both options took about the same time. There really was no difference in speed, so I had to judge the routes on other criteria. And the other criteria I chose was safety.
Wendover is a very busy road, and I have seen many near accidents while driving on it (I've also come close to being sideswiped myself a few times). Apparently, it's a road for bad drivers. "Hey, are you an asshole? Then use Wendover, it's the road for you."
Getting on to Wendover from our house is a little bit of a struggle as well. You just kind of have to get up and go, stop signs and human life be damned. Once you're on it, at least where we live, it's stops and starts with people switching lanes like they have suddenly forgotten all rules of common decency. It's a Road Warrior kind of experience some days. And I don't plan on being Mad Max on the day Nugget comes to town.
Looping around down Fisher was a far safer trip. There are a few more stop lights (the one on Elm street is usually the one that holds me up while driving to work). But once you get past that it's smooth sailing all the way to the hospital. And there aren't the assortment of homicidal maniacs that you get going the other way.
I know that it's going to be a little different on game day, when Elizabeth is breathing in short bursts and trying not to freak out (I picture myself doing the same thing actually). We'll both be nervous, and we'll both be extremely excited. I'm hoping that we catch it early enough that the contractions are not too painful or coming at a fast rate (because I don't want to deliver Nugget in my car...see my rant on "Home Birth" as to why...)
To make sure that it's all muscle memory, I'm going to start driving this route at least once a week (it's kinda sorta on my way to work anyway, so I can add it to the routine). It might be a little overkill (I'm sure a lot of what I'm doing for this blog has been overkill), but for me, it helps calm a lot of the nerves that I've been having about all of this.
It'll also keep me off of Wendover. I'd actually like to be around when Nugget gets here.
At the very least, I need to be the hand for her to squeeze to the breaking point when the pain gets too bad.
My other job is to make sure she gets to the experts safely and quickly when Nugget decides to arrive. The staff at Women's Hospital in Greensboro are going to be the ones that we entrust with the birth, and they come highly recommended. I think that we are very fortunate to live right down the road from a hospital that is focused on this kind of thing.
With that being said, even though the hospital is just down the road, I want to make sure that I know all of the routes to get there. So yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, I busted out my map and sextant and charted a course.
Ok, so I didn't use a compass and star charts, and instead relied on good old Google Maps and my GPS to get me there. As you can see, there are two direct options to get from our house to the Women's Hospital. The first takes us down two of the busiest surface streets in Greensboro, Wendover Avenue and Battleground Avenue. This route is 2.7 miles and is estimated to take us about 7 minutes. The second route that popped up skips over Wendover and takes us directly to Battleground. It is .1 miles longer, which adds another minute to the trip.
It seems that we could also take public transportation to get there. This might be the funniest backup plan ever. "Don't worry, fellow passengers, but is there a doctor on the bus?"
I timed both driving routes, and with the stop lights and signs, both options took about the same time. There really was no difference in speed, so I had to judge the routes on other criteria. And the other criteria I chose was safety.
Wendover is a very busy road, and I have seen many near accidents while driving on it (I've also come close to being sideswiped myself a few times). Apparently, it's a road for bad drivers. "Hey, are you an asshole? Then use Wendover, it's the road for you."
Getting on to Wendover from our house is a little bit of a struggle as well. You just kind of have to get up and go, stop signs and human life be damned. Once you're on it, at least where we live, it's stops and starts with people switching lanes like they have suddenly forgotten all rules of common decency. It's a Road Warrior kind of experience some days. And I don't plan on being Mad Max on the day Nugget comes to town.
Looping around down Fisher was a far safer trip. There are a few more stop lights (the one on Elm street is usually the one that holds me up while driving to work). But once you get past that it's smooth sailing all the way to the hospital. And there aren't the assortment of homicidal maniacs that you get going the other way.
I know that it's going to be a little different on game day, when Elizabeth is breathing in short bursts and trying not to freak out (I picture myself doing the same thing actually). We'll both be nervous, and we'll both be extremely excited. I'm hoping that we catch it early enough that the contractions are not too painful or coming at a fast rate (because I don't want to deliver Nugget in my car...see my rant on "Home Birth" as to why...)
To make sure that it's all muscle memory, I'm going to start driving this route at least once a week (it's kinda sorta on my way to work anyway, so I can add it to the routine). It might be a little overkill (I'm sure a lot of what I'm doing for this blog has been overkill), but for me, it helps calm a lot of the nerves that I've been having about all of this.
It'll also keep me off of Wendover. I'd actually like to be around when Nugget gets here.
Friday, January 30, 2015
January 29, 2015 - Babysit
We're nearing the end of my month long journey to prepare for fatherhood, and I decided it was high time to put my skillz to the test. Last night, Elizabeth and I babysat.
This is Walker "Baby Mac" McLean. His parents, Todd and Blythe, have been great friends of our for years, and they welcomed this wonderful addition to their family back in August. He is a bright, bubbly little guy that has a wicked smile and a very calm demeanor. He is a really cool kid, and I can't wait for him to become friends with Nugget (Todd and Blythe, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to keep an eye on them, because there's no telling what crazy adventures they'll get in to together).
I got over to the McLean's home in time for them to show me the ropes before they went out to the movies. Here's the bottle, watch this TV channel, here's his diapers, BYE! And like that, they were gone, and I was left to care for this little human. I've often wondered how it's going to feel when I am told that I can bring Nugget home from the hospital. "Isn't there a test that I have to pass? Don't you have to check to make sure I'm not a loon?" Nope. Just "Here's the kid, good luck."
It turns out that I didn't really need much luck. For the first 45 minutes, I was on my own with Baby Mac, and we didn't run in to any problems. I had to swap him from arm to arm because oddly enough, babies can get a little heavy after awhile. We did laps around the house, and I made car and airplane noises depending on how fast we went (he smiled a lot at this, which I am going to take as a sign that I was doing something right).
Yup, me and Baby Mac were doing well together. Then Elizabeth arrived, and I was chopped liver.
I get it, Elizabeth is clearly more interesting and better looking than I am. I can't fault Baby Mac for wanting to hang out with her more (I think the necklace really lured him in). But I was also amazed at how Elizabeth took to him and to taking care of him. She was a natural, coming at this with ease and poise, things that have never been attributed to me. She's going to be a great mom.
We both took turns feeding Baby Mac, and finally got to use the bottle warmer that so many of our friends had recommended (we are going to register for one, it was awesome)...
We helped each other when Baby Mac needed a diaper change (who am I kidding, Elizabeth took the lead there, I was just on waste disposal duty...duty...ha). And we found that he had a lot of stuff to do in his jumper...
We ran into a snag about an hour and a half in to the night. Baby Mac had been fed and changed, and it looked like it was just about bed time. But he started crying and wailing and would not go down. I tried putting him in his day bed, and that didn't work. I tried bouncing him, and that didn't work. I tried walking around and shushing him, and that didn't work. What had once been a chilled out little baby had turned into a scream machine. Elizabeth had the same luck with him, and we were worried that he'd continue to do this until his parents came home.
And then I remember something that Todd had said on his way out. "The Baby Channel...put on the Baby Channel." We don't have cable (in fact, we just have rabbit ears, so we might have to find an alternative), so I was unaware that such a channel existed. I searched around on the guide and found this...
It was called ooKii's World, and it involved dinosaurs singing and doing activities. We had put Baby Mac in his swing at this point to just try something different. And this is what happened...
If you can't tell from the motion blur, that kid is smiling like I hadn't seen him smile all night (Elizabeth got quite the kick out of it as you can see). It was incredible. One second, he was crying his head off. The next, right when I turned it to the Baby Channel, he turned into a calm and happy baby. And within a few minutes, he was doing this...
Out like a light! I was blown away at the reaction that Baby Mac had to his swing and to the channel. We realized that we had tapped in to his routine. He was ready for bed, and part of getting ready for bed was that swing and that channel. We're going to have to develop something similar for Nugget, because it was really amazing how quickly that worked.
Todd and Blythe got home to find Baby Mac fast asleep and the house still standing. We're going to need a lot more practice, which means that we are more than happy to do this again sometime! (Bring him our way, McLeans, and you can have a night out in Greensboro!)
It was fun to play "parents" with Elizabeth, and to know that, if just for a night, we could make it work. There will be many more nights to come, and we're not great parents yet...but I'm feeling good about our chances.
This is Walker "Baby Mac" McLean. His parents, Todd and Blythe, have been great friends of our for years, and they welcomed this wonderful addition to their family back in August. He is a bright, bubbly little guy that has a wicked smile and a very calm demeanor. He is a really cool kid, and I can't wait for him to become friends with Nugget (Todd and Blythe, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to keep an eye on them, because there's no telling what crazy adventures they'll get in to together).
I got over to the McLean's home in time for them to show me the ropes before they went out to the movies. Here's the bottle, watch this TV channel, here's his diapers, BYE! And like that, they were gone, and I was left to care for this little human. I've often wondered how it's going to feel when I am told that I can bring Nugget home from the hospital. "Isn't there a test that I have to pass? Don't you have to check to make sure I'm not a loon?" Nope. Just "Here's the kid, good luck."
It turns out that I didn't really need much luck. For the first 45 minutes, I was on my own with Baby Mac, and we didn't run in to any problems. I had to swap him from arm to arm because oddly enough, babies can get a little heavy after awhile. We did laps around the house, and I made car and airplane noises depending on how fast we went (he smiled a lot at this, which I am going to take as a sign that I was doing something right).
Yup, me and Baby Mac were doing well together. Then Elizabeth arrived, and I was chopped liver.
 |
| He's got good taste... |
We both took turns feeding Baby Mac, and finally got to use the bottle warmer that so many of our friends had recommended (we are going to register for one, it was awesome)...
We helped each other when Baby Mac needed a diaper change (who am I kidding, Elizabeth took the lead there, I was just on waste disposal duty...duty...ha). And we found that he had a lot of stuff to do in his jumper...
 |
| Looks like you've got a busy office there, Baby Mac. |
We ran into a snag about an hour and a half in to the night. Baby Mac had been fed and changed, and it looked like it was just about bed time. But he started crying and wailing and would not go down. I tried putting him in his day bed, and that didn't work. I tried bouncing him, and that didn't work. I tried walking around and shushing him, and that didn't work. What had once been a chilled out little baby had turned into a scream machine. Elizabeth had the same luck with him, and we were worried that he'd continue to do this until his parents came home.
And then I remember something that Todd had said on his way out. "The Baby Channel...put on the Baby Channel." We don't have cable (in fact, we just have rabbit ears, so we might have to find an alternative), so I was unaware that such a channel existed. I searched around on the guide and found this...
It was called ooKii's World, and it involved dinosaurs singing and doing activities. We had put Baby Mac in his swing at this point to just try something different. And this is what happened...
If you can't tell from the motion blur, that kid is smiling like I hadn't seen him smile all night (Elizabeth got quite the kick out of it as you can see). It was incredible. One second, he was crying his head off. The next, right when I turned it to the Baby Channel, he turned into a calm and happy baby. And within a few minutes, he was doing this...
Out like a light! I was blown away at the reaction that Baby Mac had to his swing and to the channel. We realized that we had tapped in to his routine. He was ready for bed, and part of getting ready for bed was that swing and that channel. We're going to have to develop something similar for Nugget, because it was really amazing how quickly that worked.
Todd and Blythe got home to find Baby Mac fast asleep and the house still standing. We're going to need a lot more practice, which means that we are more than happy to do this again sometime! (Bring him our way, McLeans, and you can have a night out in Greensboro!)
It was fun to play "parents" with Elizabeth, and to know that, if just for a night, we could make it work. There will be many more nights to come, and we're not great parents yet...but I'm feeling good about our chances.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
January 28, 2015 - Day Care
Elizabeth and I finally got around to watching Baby Boom, the classic 80's movie about a career minded woman who learns to be a mom. It's a silly movie, but definitely more redeeming than Three Men and a Baby and the awful Nine Months. There's some real heart to it, and some memorable and cute moments. Diane Keaton's character inherits a child from cousins she hasn't seen in years (is this a thing that actually happens?). She goes through the expected trials and tribulations of single motherhood (she weighs the baby in a food scale to figure out what diapers to buy, hilarious), and eventually starts her own baby food company (hmmmm, maybe that's something I should look into...)
One of the great scenes is when Keaton takes the baby to a yuppy institute that is supposed to accelerate child development. She holds up flash cards of famous composers, salmon sushi, buildings, etc., in an effort to stimulate the brain and encourage growth (I'm pretty sure my flash cards had farm animals on them...what were my parents trying to pull?!)
Keaton goes to this institute after hearing about it from other mothers. They are all dishing about where their children were going to preschool, and an expectant mother even says that her child is on the waiting list for a school and it hasn't even been born yet. This got us to thinking. We don't want Nugget to get left behind because we hadn't signed him up for stuff on time. So last night, we started looking into day care options in our area.
There are a lot of them...
This is an important choice, because both Elizabeth and I intend to work after Nugget gets here, and we'll need some help. There are options at churches. There are options that focus on a Montessori style of education. There are options that look to be the gateway to a life lived on a commune with people named Moonbeam and Sage.
Elizabeth has lucked out by joining a book club in town. Most of the ladies in the book club have children, so they have been a wealth of knowledge when it comes to babies. They've also had some great advice to give, and a lot of it has revolved around child care. Of course, choosing a day care option is not as simple as "Oh, that looks nice."
I won't bore you with the list of questions Elizabeth wrote down after talking to her book club about it, but suffice it to say it is extensive. Everything from how the diaper area is sanitized (I'm guessing fire hose) to how breast milk is handled for the child (I'm guessing in a bottle and fed to the baby, but I could be way off here).
You have to find out the hours of the center, and if they allow for half day or full day care. You have to find out what kind of activities they offer (I'm hoping for a GUTS style training regimen, but I'll settle for a curriculum based on Legends of the Hidden Temple). Is it in a nice area? And is it NAEYC certified? (Note to self: find out what the hell NAEYC means...)
Elizabeth's book club gave us several recommendations, and we narrowed that list down to two in Greensboro last night. Next week, our plan is to go visit both and see if we like them. If we do, we'll put down a deposit to save a spot for Nugget.
If that doesn't work, maybe we can just send Nugget to where we board Merlin when we leave town for the weekend. He seems to like it there, and there would be plenty of toys for Nugget to play with. I don't see a downside to this plan...
One of the great scenes is when Keaton takes the baby to a yuppy institute that is supposed to accelerate child development. She holds up flash cards of famous composers, salmon sushi, buildings, etc., in an effort to stimulate the brain and encourage growth (I'm pretty sure my flash cards had farm animals on them...what were my parents trying to pull?!)
Keaton goes to this institute after hearing about it from other mothers. They are all dishing about where their children were going to preschool, and an expectant mother even says that her child is on the waiting list for a school and it hasn't even been born yet. This got us to thinking. We don't want Nugget to get left behind because we hadn't signed him up for stuff on time. So last night, we started looking into day care options in our area.
There are a lot of them...
This is an important choice, because both Elizabeth and I intend to work after Nugget gets here, and we'll need some help. There are options at churches. There are options that focus on a Montessori style of education. There are options that look to be the gateway to a life lived on a commune with people named Moonbeam and Sage.
Elizabeth has lucked out by joining a book club in town. Most of the ladies in the book club have children, so they have been a wealth of knowledge when it comes to babies. They've also had some great advice to give, and a lot of it has revolved around child care. Of course, choosing a day care option is not as simple as "Oh, that looks nice."
I won't bore you with the list of questions Elizabeth wrote down after talking to her book club about it, but suffice it to say it is extensive. Everything from how the diaper area is sanitized (I'm guessing fire hose) to how breast milk is handled for the child (I'm guessing in a bottle and fed to the baby, but I could be way off here).
You have to find out the hours of the center, and if they allow for half day or full day care. You have to find out what kind of activities they offer (I'm hoping for a GUTS style training regimen, but I'll settle for a curriculum based on Legends of the Hidden Temple). Is it in a nice area? And is it NAEYC certified? (Note to self: find out what the hell NAEYC means...)
Elizabeth's book club gave us several recommendations, and we narrowed that list down to two in Greensboro last night. Next week, our plan is to go visit both and see if we like them. If we do, we'll put down a deposit to save a spot for Nugget.
If that doesn't work, maybe we can just send Nugget to where we board Merlin when we leave town for the weekend. He seems to like it there, and there would be plenty of toys for Nugget to play with. I don't see a downside to this plan...
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
January 27, 2015 - Star Sign...
 |
| When the moooooooon, is in the seventh hoooooouuuuuuse... |
I have read my horoscope before, but I haven't planned my life around it. I'm a Sagittarius, which means that my goals are to "live a good life" and "make a difference in the world" if astrology is correct (aren't these goals of everyone, though?) There was a time where it looked like I might be the "new" sign, Ophiuchus. This caused great debate amongst astrologists on Facebook (where all good debate happens), but it was ultimately decided that adding a new sign was hogwash. I think that ALL of it is hogwash, but that is beside the point.
A funny thing has happened when we've told people the due date for Nugget. We will say "Nugget's due June 4th," and we will get a knowing smile and eyebrow raise. "A Gemini," they'll say, "oh boy." It hasn't happened all of the time, but it takes place far more often than I would have thought. In fact, Elizabeth has even gotten in to it and has agreed with them. It seems as if there are a lot of people that I associate with that are aware of what star signs mean.
Not being one of these people, last night I read up on star signs to get a prediction of what Nugget is going to be like. And apparently, he's going to be a handful...
A Gemini gets its astrological name from the constellation, which depicts twins who shared Godhood upon death (gets you right in the warm and fuzzies, am I right?) Born between May 21 and June 20 (Nugget should come in right in the middle of those dates if all goes according to plan), a Gemini is said to "explore a little bit of everything" and to "be ahead of the crowd." So look out world, Nugget Farabee is about to tell you what's in this season. Is he going to be the heir apparent to Bloosh on Parks and Rec?
Geminis are mischievous and dual-natured. They want to be the center of attention, and have a tendency of being rude and unsympathetic. So hooray, Nugget is going to be a jerk! They are also funny, optimistic, and fun to talk to. So hooray, Nugget is going to be a fun jerk!
Geminis are also restless and seek new experiences. Now this is something that I can get behind (I do these yearly projects for just the same reasons). Seeking out new and exciting adventures is, to me, what life is about, so if this is a trait that Nugget inherits from the stars then I am all for it. Boldly go, Nugget, boldly go...
It was interesting reading over the various websites and how they described certain astrological signs. I found myself finding accuracies in their predictions ("Yeah, that woman is really focused on making money," or "Oh ok, maybe that's why he's so insecure"). Of course, when predictions and characteristics take on the broad nature of a fortune cookie, it's easy to apply them to just about anything.
Still, this was a fun exercise and it gave me yet another thing to look forward to. Will Nugget be like the Geminis in the horoscopes? Is his fate written in the stars?
I guess I'll have to start reading that section of the paper to find out...
(To anyone out there reading this, have you found astrology to be accurate? Let me know!)
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
January 26, 2015 - Create a birth plan
I'm getting towards the end of this month long project, and I've realized that I haven't done a lot to prepare for the actual day of the birth. Ok, is it alright if I call it Nugget's "Name Day" instead of birthday? It's the first step towards Nugget's ascension to the Iron Throne...(anyone ready for Game of Thrones to start up again...so am I!)
Preparing to be a dad has been an important and worthwhile endeavor. But I know that preparing for that first day is going to be equally important. So last night, Elizabeth and I started thinking about our birth plan.
Now, I know what some of you may be thinking ("some of you" being those that haven't gone through the whole pregnancy thing). "Birth plan...doesn't the woman just have the baby?" Well, yes, that's true. But there are so many different ways to go nowadays. Like so much of what I have researched for this project, each has it's pros and cons, each has it's supporters and it's detractors. It's a personal choice, and each will work differently for different parents. What follows are my thoughts on several different methods that we looked in to. Please note that if you went through any of these, I in no way want to poke fun at you. They just weren't for us, that's all.
Home Birth
This one was thrown out right out of the gate. I know that people who do this say it helps make them more relaxed, that you are on your home turf so that makes you more comfortable while having your baby. But there are not enough cleaning products in the world to get what happens in a birth out of our mattress and out of our bedroom. I'm sorry to anyone that has done this, but we would have to sell the house. If I found one corpuscle, that would be the end of it.
C-Section
Ok so this isn't so much a plan, more a back up. I was a C-Section baby, and I guess I turned out alright...
We know that this type of birth is a "break the glass" scenario, and if has to happen then it has to happen. We just aren't going in to this thinking it's our Plan A.
Traditional (at a hospital)
This is the one that is featured most prominently in movies and TV shows. The mom is reenacting the dinner scene from Alien while the partner is being a nuisance (Hugh Grant faints in Nine Months...if only I could have done the same before the movie started...). There's a lot of pushing, a lot of screaming, and a whole lot of crying. It's been said that war is hell. Judging by what is shown in the media, a delivery room must be a suburb of Hell.
I watched some videos of this method (my eyes feel like they do when I've looked at the Sun too long). And really, it depends on the baby and depends on the mother. Some deliveries are smooth sailing, with little pain experienced by the mother. Some are marathons of agony with a lot of...tearing (I just shuddered typing that. I'm so, so, so sorry Elizabeth, for doing this to you).
All of this is done in a hospital, so that's the major bonus there. Patton Oswalt has a great bit about his hippie friends telling him to have his first child at home like the pioneers. "You know what the pioneers dreamed of while they were having their babies?" he asks, "...HOSPITALS!" He goes on to say he wants the most modern birth possible, and I would tend to agree with him there. That's why this is the method that is probably our back up. I know that no matter what happens, I will be up at the top end with Elizabeth. Being down at the bottom will lead to me pulling a Hugh Grant.
Water Birth
Ding ding ding, we have a winner!
At first glance, I thought this was more Whole Foods nonsense. I mistakenly thought that "water birth" meant "home birth in a tub," so that meant I'd never go into the bathroom at my house again. Chlorox would be unable to produce bleach fast enough for the quantities I would be buying.
But this just wasn't the case at all. In fact, we were able to see videos of water births at the Greensboro Women's Hospital, which is where we will be having Nugget. (Note to self: don't let Elizabeth watch anymore baby movies, because they make her cry too much).
The idea is that being in a pool of warm water relaxes you and aids in the birth. All of the pressure that you normally feel in traditional settings is taken away, and it makes for a far more comfortable experience. You do have to provide the equipment (a blow up kiddie pool was what we saw the most of). There is some pain, but it is said to be dramatically less than other alternatives. The baby is used to being in liquid, having survived in it for 9 months, so it provides a smoother transition into the world for them.
Plus, it means that instead of spending his first moments in the world surrounded by crying and yelling, he'll get to spend them as Aquaman. And that is fantastic.
So that's what we are going with at this time. Of course, no plan survives contact with reality, and I know that there will be tweaks along the way. We may get to the Name Day (it just sounds cooler!) and the water birth is not an option. We will take it in stride, though, and know that no matter what we'll get to meet Nugget.
I'm just really hoping now that his first day involves a pool party!
Preparing to be a dad has been an important and worthwhile endeavor. But I know that preparing for that first day is going to be equally important. So last night, Elizabeth and I started thinking about our birth plan.
Now, I know what some of you may be thinking ("some of you" being those that haven't gone through the whole pregnancy thing). "Birth plan...doesn't the woman just have the baby?" Well, yes, that's true. But there are so many different ways to go nowadays. Like so much of what I have researched for this project, each has it's pros and cons, each has it's supporters and it's detractors. It's a personal choice, and each will work differently for different parents. What follows are my thoughts on several different methods that we looked in to. Please note that if you went through any of these, I in no way want to poke fun at you. They just weren't for us, that's all.
Home Birth
This one was thrown out right out of the gate. I know that people who do this say it helps make them more relaxed, that you are on your home turf so that makes you more comfortable while having your baby. But there are not enough cleaning products in the world to get what happens in a birth out of our mattress and out of our bedroom. I'm sorry to anyone that has done this, but we would have to sell the house. If I found one corpuscle, that would be the end of it.
C-Section
Ok so this isn't so much a plan, more a back up. I was a C-Section baby, and I guess I turned out alright...
We know that this type of birth is a "break the glass" scenario, and if has to happen then it has to happen. We just aren't going in to this thinking it's our Plan A.
Traditional (at a hospital)
This is the one that is featured most prominently in movies and TV shows. The mom is reenacting the dinner scene from Alien while the partner is being a nuisance (Hugh Grant faints in Nine Months...if only I could have done the same before the movie started...). There's a lot of pushing, a lot of screaming, and a whole lot of crying. It's been said that war is hell. Judging by what is shown in the media, a delivery room must be a suburb of Hell.
I watched some videos of this method (my eyes feel like they do when I've looked at the Sun too long). And really, it depends on the baby and depends on the mother. Some deliveries are smooth sailing, with little pain experienced by the mother. Some are marathons of agony with a lot of...tearing (I just shuddered typing that. I'm so, so, so sorry Elizabeth, for doing this to you).
All of this is done in a hospital, so that's the major bonus there. Patton Oswalt has a great bit about his hippie friends telling him to have his first child at home like the pioneers. "You know what the pioneers dreamed of while they were having their babies?" he asks, "...HOSPITALS!" He goes on to say he wants the most modern birth possible, and I would tend to agree with him there. That's why this is the method that is probably our back up. I know that no matter what happens, I will be up at the top end with Elizabeth. Being down at the bottom will lead to me pulling a Hugh Grant.
Water Birth
Ding ding ding, we have a winner!
At first glance, I thought this was more Whole Foods nonsense. I mistakenly thought that "water birth" meant "home birth in a tub," so that meant I'd never go into the bathroom at my house again. Chlorox would be unable to produce bleach fast enough for the quantities I would be buying.
But this just wasn't the case at all. In fact, we were able to see videos of water births at the Greensboro Women's Hospital, which is where we will be having Nugget. (Note to self: don't let Elizabeth watch anymore baby movies, because they make her cry too much).
The idea is that being in a pool of warm water relaxes you and aids in the birth. All of the pressure that you normally feel in traditional settings is taken away, and it makes for a far more comfortable experience. You do have to provide the equipment (a blow up kiddie pool was what we saw the most of). There is some pain, but it is said to be dramatically less than other alternatives. The baby is used to being in liquid, having survived in it for 9 months, so it provides a smoother transition into the world for them.
Plus, it means that instead of spending his first moments in the world surrounded by crying and yelling, he'll get to spend them as Aquaman. And that is fantastic.
So that's what we are going with at this time. Of course, no plan survives contact with reality, and I know that there will be tweaks along the way. We may get to the Name Day (it just sounds cooler!) and the water birth is not an option. We will take it in stride, though, and know that no matter what we'll get to meet Nugget.
I'm just really hoping now that his first day involves a pool party!
Monday, January 26, 2015
January 25, 2015 - Assemble a crib
One of the many reasons why I was so excited to move in to our house was that I was now afforded the opportunity to have a woodworking area of my own. Growing up, I remember watching shows like The New Yankee Workshop, This Old House, and The Woodwright's Shop (still filmed right here in NC). My dad loved those shows, and he had a knack for tools. There was a shed attached to our house on Liberty Street in Bath, Maine where he would carve wooden ducks, build miniature wooden boats, and work on other projects that interested him.
I do not have the same "knack," but I'm hoping that by now having the space, I'll be able to develop this kind of skill. My goal is to pass this along to Nugget. I want to be able to build that things that he will be able to use and that we will all be able to use as a family. Either that, or I'll start losing fingers at a much faster rate than originally planned.
This love of wood working and this desire to start learning how to do it well has been intensified by not only owning a home of my own, but also by my love of a particular sitcom character. I often wish that I could be Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation. His life of whiskey, breakfast foods, and moustachioed awesomeness is one that I to aspire to and admire.
My love of all things Swanson was furthered after reading Paddle Your Own Canoe, a fantastic book written by Nick Offerman (he plays Ron and in doing so has created one of the funniest and best comedic television characters in recent memory). In the book, Offerman discusses his love of woodworking and how it has blossomed even as his acting career has taken off. He owns his own wood shop, where he builds everything from tables to chairs to beautiful canoes. The canoe is the big project, the one that I really want to try. I can only hope to get there one day.
Ron Swanson actually builds a crib in one episode of Parks and Rec, and while I'm not at that level yet, I wanted to see if I could at the very least assemble a store bought one for Nugget.
 |
| Every Swanson has to start somewhere... |
They make these things pretty idiot proof (read that as "Lars proof"). The instructions were pretty easy to follow, and everything was screwed together using the Allen wrench that was provided in the kit. Attach this end to this hole, put this kind of bolt here, screw here...repeat until you have a crib...
After an episode of Bob's Burgers (yup, it really only took a half an hour or so, amazing what pre-fab can do for the clueless dad-to-be), I had a working crib...
We still have to get a mattress for the it, but overall I'd say it looks really nice in Nugget's nursery (the decorating has begun there as well). So maybe it doesn't have all of the character of the one Ron made, but I felt a little bit of accomplishment that I was able to get it together and looking like a crib. Maybe one day, if Nugget ever needs a crib to start his own family (years in the future, mind you), I'll be able to build it for him myself.
Now it's time to start working on that canoe...
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