I've made it to the end of my month long adventure to prepare myself for being a dad. Of course, it will take far more than a month of activities to get ready for Nugget. Luckily, I've got until June to do everything I can to be the best parent that I can be right on day one. I hope that I'm up to the task. This is the biggest responsibility that I've ever undertaken, and I want
to get this right. I'm going to need help, and I'm going to make a lot
of mistakes. But I think that this month has given me a good head start in the right direction.
Over the course of this month, I've tried to learn a lot of valuable skills that should help make parenthood a little bit easier (I'm going to heavily stress little bit here). I've built cribs and learned to change diapers (and worn a pair myself). I've tested out a wide range of baby products (from baby food to strollers). I've done a wide range of things to help me get ready for Nugget's arrival (from taking a baby CPR class to carrying a bag of flour around with me for a day).
And while I was doing each task, I tried to keep in mind how this would help me become a better father. But I hadn't really thought about what that meant. So last night, as my final activity for this project, I thought about all of the things that I think make up a good dad. I thought about the kind of dad that I want to be.
And in doing so, I realized that I wanted to end this month like I started it: with a challenge. But
instead of challenging Nugget, I'm going to challenge myself. You're
welcome to read along.
Dear Future Lars,
Hey
man! I hope you're doing well and that everything went perfectly with the
birth. How is Nugget doing? How is Elizabeth? Are you two getting any
sleep at all or are you just so excited about being parents that sleep
has gone out the window? What does Nugget look like?! How does he act?!
I guess I'll learn all of this soon enough.
I am sure
that it has been a lot tougher than you thought it would be. I'm sure
that while you have been incredibly happy, you've also had moments where
you've been stressed out and frustrated. I want you to remember to be
the kind of dad you hoped to be before Nugget arrived.
I'm willing to bet that you are still a pop culture junkie. Remember that when you were thinking about being the best dad possible, you thought about all of the great dads
that you read about or saw on TV and in film. You wanted to be
like Pa Kent (Clark's dad), and Clark Griswold (just from Vacation and Christmas Vacation, the others not so much...). You wanted to be Phil Dunphy from Modern Family (our love of dorky jokes leads me to think that you're already there), and you wanted to be Bob Belcher (Elizabeth already reminds me of his wife, Lynn). You wanted to be Atticus Finch, and George Bailey (skipping over the parts where he doesn't realize that he has a wonderful life).
We are fortunate enough to know a large group of people that are already
fighting the good fight as parents. I hope that you have learned from our cousins
that have come before us and have been
wildly successful at being moms and dads. I hope that you have learned from
all of our friends that have already started their own parental
adventures.
You wanted to be like our uncles (Steven, Ed,
Larry, Joe, Percy, Norman, Hayes, Guy, and Diego). You wanted to be like
Henry Brooks (mom's dad, who we never got to meet to our great
misfortune). You wanted to be like William Lloyd Farabee, Jr.
And you especially wanted to be like William Lloyd Farabee III.
But remember that
it hasn't just been dad's that inspired you. Our life has been
filled with mom's that have done an incredible job. You should channel
the loving guidance of our aunts (Rachel, Debbie, Patti, Eileen, Jan,
Connie W. and Connie B., Mikki, Beverly, Carrie, Angela). You should hope to be
like Ruth Farabee and Helen Brooks (our grandmothers). And you can only dream
of being like Mary Brooks Farabee.
And really, if I'm going to be honest with you, you should want to be like Elizabeth.
She's
handled this pregnancy with aplomb and with grace, and I'm sure she was a champ during the delivery. She's been equal
parts goofy and fun and thoughtful and hopeful. She hasn't let this
change who she is. Instead, this has intensified all of the qualities
that made me fall in love with her in the first place. And I know that
once Nugget joined you at 711 Percy Street, she has been the
most incredible mother to him. You should just try to do your best and keep up.
Be
inspiring, someone that Nugget can look up to and be proud to call
"dad." Be knowledgeable and
helpful. If Nugget has a problem, then yo, you should solve it (check
out the
hook, as my DJ revolves it...enjoy having that stuck in your head
now). Keep Nugget safe, and make sure that if he
does make mistakes that you're there to help him learn from them. Be
funny and fun and and loving. Be sure to support Elizabeth through all
of this. Be the best husband and the best father that you can be.
I can't wait to be in your shoes, Future Lars, because I can't wait to be a father. You're a lucky man. Never forget that.
Love,
Lars
